I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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