whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
