Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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