I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
