How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
