Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
