I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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