It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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