This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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