the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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