I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
