i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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