Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
