Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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