went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
