he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can't motorboat a personality
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
