Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
