He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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