Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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