You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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