He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
