Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
