No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
