did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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