White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
