The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
