Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
