id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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