So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
