Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
