Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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