I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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