Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
