Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
