I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
