What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
