in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
