why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
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