I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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