I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
