i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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