So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
