nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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