i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
