I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
