Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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