as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
