After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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