Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize