the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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