He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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