i don't like sucking hair
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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