i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wish i was in the wii world.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
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It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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