getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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