I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
