this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
