I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
