it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
