The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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