So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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