i don't like sucking hair
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
