YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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